the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
