So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I deserve this hangover.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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