i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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