I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
