Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
