We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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