he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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