It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
