Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
