Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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