Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
