2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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