I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
