bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
