dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
