Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
