Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
