So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
