hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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