We're facebook friends in real life
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
