So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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