we have officially lost it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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