literally had 100 drinks last night.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
