You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
