I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
