I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize