just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
