Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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