the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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