hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
