new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
50% drunk capacity currently
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
