i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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