if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
