i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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