he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
