Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I believe in your delicious
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
