so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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