this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
