I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
