Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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