She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
