I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
