didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
