I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
