you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
