So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
