I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
