why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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