I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
