I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
