How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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